Just beneath the threshold of ears perk
of being barely, yet alive
I almost recognize.

The agonizing know but can’t remember
is perpetually at the tip of my tongue.

A purgatory of murmurings just outside hearing range.
A parents’ conversation through the bedroom wall.
The struggle for even one word.

My body becomes a piano sound board
that dissipates voices, sentences, friends
to miniscule heat.

A tiny heat that warps undetectably
the light that falls on my windowsill.

Suddenly a neuron pentagon illuminates
like a flashlight pointed at an overhead jet.

The unseen something
there but never known.
Understanding is strangling water.

And how I long for the screaming of my fingertips
gliding silently over bagel crumbs on the breakfast table.

My throat burns, parched from heavy breath
after my last attempt to chase the bullet,
now just a speck down the road.