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Japan Notes 2 12-16-2003 (1, 2, 3, 4)

Massagy? Well, at least that's what the woman standing on the street in shibuya near our hotel asked us at 1:30am Saturday night. I guess she had that one word nailed for her gae-jin clients. We decided it actually would be nice on Sunday afternoon so we visited the very clean relaxation station and had a great oriental massage - no happy ending please.

Starbucks has literally cut in half the price of coffee in Tokyo. On top of that, despite the fact that the dollar has fallen 25% against the Yen and everything else in Japan is a 30% premium over the US, a Frappucino is only Y350 ($3.50). And there's only one size, and there's no decaf anywhere in the country. There are 12 million people packed into this city and all of them are working 12 hours a day fueled by coffee and cigarettes, starting at age 15.

Everyone who is trying to make fun of Japanese people by saying "Hai." or "Aso" doesn't realize that that's actually how people talk here. Overhearing a phone conversation the other day, it was like, "Moshi moshi, hai hai. Hai. Hai. Hai hai. Hai..." and lots of bowing (even on the phone) to go with it. Or if you say something interesting, the other person might give you a really drawn out, "AaaaSsoooo."

You see lots of people walking around wearing those SARS hospital masks but it turns out that they're not just afraid of SARS, they think they have it. There are all these ads on tv telling you that if you feel sick you don't want to infect your brethren so you'd better wear a mask.

If you screw up and push an elevator button for the wrong floor, just push it again and the light goes out. Duh.

Nabe party last night at DC and Nikki's was a big ongoing feast in the living room, everyone sitting on the floor receiving from Nikki serving after serving of hot soup with meat and vegetables and udon. It was funny because there were a bunch of japanese friends of DC and Nikki's who spoke english pretty well. One guy was on a first date and brought her along and she brought a friend. Seems a little strange to take your date and her friend to a private dinner party as the first night out, but all the merrier. I realize I am fully ready to believe anything about Japan that anyone tells me. And I guess it works in reverse because when Yuko asked me how I hurt my thumb, I told her I did a bad job at work and Chris slammed it in a car door. Americans expect the highest levels of service and if you screw up they beat you. That Rodney King incident? No not Mike Tyson's manager. Yeah, he was in LA where there are lots of rich people, so they called the police because he wasn't doing a good job and had him beaten up. REALLY?!

This morning we woke up at zero dark thirty and went to the Tsukiji fish market - serving 4,000 tons of seafood per day worth around 3 Billion Yen. Everyone bustling around on these narrow carts with steering wheels that steer and do the gas and brakes all in one. So many fish, and giant ones too. Tuna being cut up by master butchers with giant saber knives, octopi being arranged in styrofoam boxes, business cards being exchanged with much Japanese to-do'ing, red clams being cracked open and stacked in rows in crates filled half-way with blood - gory but fun. Some guy was looking for his contact lens on the ground but when June asked it turns out he lost his tooth. So I looked around it and found the tooth in the corner. He was all smiles (well, sort of) when I gave it back to him and said "rucky, very rucky", shook my hand, bowing bowing. Uhh, yeah you'd better clean that floor muck off it before you stick it back in your head. Gave an XSA card to the butcher too and he recommended a great sushi place for breakfast. Wow, those things are good for everything. We also got his card so in case we have a hankering for some sushi in the future we'll know who to call. Anyone read Kanji?

Outside the market there are all these little sushi places that get the fish straight off the boat and put it on your plate - abalone still moving even. Seriously the best sushi I've ever had too. Uni which every american pretty much hates is quite sweet and not all disgusting when it's that fresh. There's a little outside temple where you can make a wish, ring the bell, clap your hands and I guess hope for the best.

I've gotta thank Zack for the tip on Gets. It's a magic keyword. There's this Japanese tv talent show and the guy on it is kindof an austin powers personality. He's super famous, especially for his signature move: both hands out with thumb and index finger in gun shape and saying "Gets!" We found out there's a song that goes with it too which is some Japanese translation of "That's the way, uh huh, I like it." Anyway, it's the funniest thing in the world to basically any Japanese person - you should try it on some Japanese tourists at home. They never ever would expect a foreigner to know about it. Even the reserve and control of the department store girls cracks when we Gets them. We taught it to these two little half-japanese american girls in the sushi place outside Tsukiji and you can tell the rest of their vacation will be filled with "Get's!" to anyone who'll listen - sorry mom and dad.

It turns out that I've been mispronouncing the words for "I don't speak Japanese" the whole trip. In Japanese you put the "not" at the end of the sentence so dekimasen means speak not. But I've been leaving off the "en", so I've been saying "I speak Japanese". No wonder everyone's been confused. Also, it's really annoying in business meetings because you ask, "Can you get 50,000 units and deliver them by next week?" And effectively they reply, "We can get 50,000 units and deliver them by next week. Not." But really they're more likely to take a long breath in through their teeth, making the signature Japanese sound for, "Oooo, that very difficult." But they never ever use the word Ie (sp?) which actually means no.

80-year old lady with dyed bright blue hair. Not the only one.

Flying to Korea today - uhh golden retriever? No thanks, I'm full.

bre++

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